Measles
2005.07.02 14:35

Mishima used to say in his 'confession of mask' that he has memory in time of his birth. he was a very strange guy, so it might be the case.
But for ordinary people, the first memory in our life traced back to around three years old I guess, in my case too, my first certain memory starts at three when I was abruptly struck down by measles, at that time I was beside myself playing with a boy in neighbourhood.
I clearly remember I was abruptly interrupted by the disease - I had to sleep in bed for three consecutive days.
Till I was struck by this disease, it seems I was in a state I couldn't define me from him, in my memory he was part of me, then disease preventd me from getting in touch with him for sometime. The big chasm in my life made me start my first memory. Thanks to that at that time I managed to realise I am not part of him, I am different from him. -This experience might be called the first awakening of self.
When I had to move our house at age 5, I remember crying over the painting left on the door of bathroom, I clearly remember what I drew, I can even drow what I drew now, but it's been already 39 years not to drow it again what I drew since I left my painting in our house.
That painting was my first belonging that had to be let go of, when we had to let go of something ordinary, usual, normal to my life, those turned out to be the most precious valuable in my life.
My neighbourhood, my painting forever!